As a marriage counselor, I am all too familiar with the concept of marital drift and the devastation it causes in a marriage. I’ve heard hundreds of reasons why couples say their marriage is no longer working, and they are all rooted in the same cause – marital drift.
I like to use Dr. Jim Dobson’s analogy for marital drift when I’m explaining the concept to my clients. A marriage is like two people in their own boats, floating around in the middle of a lake next to one another. If the boats are not intentionally tied together when the rough and stormy waters of life, like children, job stress, financial stress, or family illnesses, hit, the boats will drift to either side of the lake, the water pushing them apart.
Now, the boats are on opposite sides of the lake, and each spouse is shouting, “hey, come to my side!” “No, you come to my side!” When a marriage reaches this point, my goal as a marriage counselor is to find what we can use to bring the two boats back to the center of the lake and tie them together, so that the next time the rough waters hit, the boats are facing the storm as one unit and stay connected.
Losing the connection in a marriage does not happen suddenly, rather, it is lost slowly over the years, until finally, one spouse, or both, has had enough, and they feel that divorce is the only answer. I’m here to tell you it’s not – most marriages can, and should, be saved.
Be mindful of your marriage and watch for the signs of marital drift, including feeling disconnected, poor communication, dissatisfaction in your sex life, loss of the spousal friendship, and accepting the rut of unhappiness. If you feel like your marriage is suffering from marital drift, take action – do not wait until it is too late. Seek out professional guidance from a marriage counselor or ask for help from an elder in your church.
Like I said before, I truly believe most marriages can, and should, be saved. Stay mindful, seek out professional help, and find your reason to stay. The Pax Renewal Center team is here for you, and we want to help you and your spouse reconnect and save your marriage. Give us a call today.
Is your Marriage on the Brink of Divorce? Take PAX Renewal’s Discernment Quiz to help determine if Discernment Counseling is right for you.
To learn more about Pax Renewal Center, or to schedule an appointment with one of our team members, visit paxrenewalcenter.com or call us at 337-993-1960.