Friday Focus 🔎 adrift | heart | quiet

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Welcome to Friday Focus!

Welcome to Friday Focus, my weekly letter from PAX Renewal Center. I’m glad you’re here, whether you’ve been reading for years or just found your way to this little corner of your inbox.

This week I’m happy to share the page with my colleague Blake Valdetero, a counselor here at PAX who has spent more than twenty years walking with individuals, couples, and teens. As autumn leans toward the busy holiday season, Blake asks a question worth slowing down for: we prepare our homes and our calendars, but how do we prepare our souls? In the sections ahead, you’ll hear from her in her own words. She shares what Leonard Sax’s Boys Adrift is teaching her about the gift of simply being present to our children, a prayer walk where the silence felt awkward before it became an invitation, and the call in Proverbs to guard the heart, along with a prayer to carry into your week. In this Year of St. Francis, we’ll also share the blessing he wrote for his dear friend, Brother Leo. For couples, you’ll find this month’s free conversation prompts and a word about making room for your marriage. Our night sky feature is taking a week off, but the stars are still out there, so feel free to step outside and look up anyway.

As always, I hope something here brings you a little more peace to carry into the weekend.

Blake Valdetero contributed to this week’s newsletter

What I’m Reading

Boys Adrift by Leonard Sax

Lately I’ve been reading Boys Adrift, which explores some of the unique challenges boys face today and offers parents practical insight for helping them grow. There’s a lot to take away, but one theme has stayed with me this month: intentional presence.

As parents, it’s easy to prepare our children for the future by managing schedules, coordinating activities, helping with homework, and planning ahead. All of that matters. But the message I keep coming back to is that children need more than our planning. They need our presence. That happens in ordinary moments, through everyday connection, real conversations, healthy boundaries, and simply being available.

So I’ve been asking myself: How am I preparing my heart to be fully present for the people God has entrusted to my care? Whether we’re parents, spouses, or friends, our presence often speaks louder than our plans.

A Free Resource for Couples

October Conversation Prompts

The last days of October are a quiet threshold. Soon the calendar will fill with gatherings, travel, and to-do lists, so this is a lovely week to make a little room for each other first. Take this month’s conversation prompts along on an evening walk, or tuck one beside the coffee maker for a slow weekend morning. Choose a single question, set the phones aside, and give the answer your full attention. You don’t need to respond with anything clever. Often the best thing we can offer the person we love is simply our presence.

Download your free October Conversation Prompts here.

A Passage From Sacred Scripture

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

~ Proverbs 4:23

For reflection: We put so much care into preparing our homes, our calendars, and our families for the season ahead. Our hearts need that same tending. What we let into our hearts, and how we nurture our relationship with God, shapes every other part of our lives. What is one way you could tend your heart this week?

In This Year of St. Francis:

A Blessing for a Friend

Francis wrote this blessing for his secretary and intimate companion, Brother Leo, in his own hand on a small piece of parchment. That parchment is still treasured in Assisi today.

“May the Lord bless and keep you. May the Lord let his face shine on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show his face and bring you peace. The Lord bless you, Brother Leo.”

~ St. Francis of Assisi, Blessing for Brother Leo

A Heartfelt Message: Making Room in the Quiet

As autumn deepens and the holidays come into view, many of us are busy preparing. We tidy our homes, fill in our calendars, and make plans for the weeks ahead. But lately one question has been on my heart: How do we prepare our souls?

I found myself sitting with that question last week during a prayer walk with members of my church. As we walked, I prayed for the intentions that had been entrusted to us, lifted up my own concerns, and then simply tried to be with God.

If I’m honest, it felt a little awkward at first.

Once I had finished naming the prayer requests, there was only silence. My first instinct was to fill it with thoughts, plans, anything at all. The quiet felt uncomfortable. But as I kept walking, I realized that discomfort was telling me something: I am often much better at preparing my schedule than preparing my soul.

I put so much care into organizing my days, keeping up with my responsibilities, and planning what comes next. What might happen if I brought that same intention to my relationship with God?

Healthy relationships need intentional investment, and our relationship with God is no different. The habits we practice today shape the closeness we experience tomorrow. A prepared soul isn’t one that does more. It’s one that makes room for God through prayer, Scripture, worship, gratitude, and quiet time in His presence.

Spiritual preparation is rarely dramatic. Sometimes it begins with simply showing up, letting the silence be, and giving God room to speak.

One Step for This Week

Take a short walk with no headphones and no agenda. Begin by naming the people and concerns on your heart, then let the quiet be. Bring one of these questions along with you:

How am I preparing my soul right now?

What spiritual habits help me feel closest to God?

What distractions make it hard for me to hear His voice?

Where might God be inviting me to make more space for Him?

How can I be more fully present with the people I love?

A Final Thought

If the silence feels awkward at first, that’s okay. It did for me, too. You don’t have to fill it. Perhaps preparation is less about doing more and more about making space.

A Prayer I’m Praying

Heavenly Father,

Teach us to prepare our hearts with the same care and intention we give to our homes, our schedules, and our celebrations. Help us make space for Your presence in our daily lives. Quiet the distractions that pull us away from You, and give us the courage to sit with You in the silence.

Help us become people who are prepared, not only for the tasks ahead, but for the relationships that matter most. Deepen our faith, strengthen our families, and guide us as we seek to follow You more closely each day.

May we be intentional in our relationship with You, so that Your love flows through us into every part of our lives.

Amen.

“Be still, and know that I am God.” ~ Psalm 46:10

Blessings,

Blake

Counseling with Blake

Tending to our hearts sometimes means asking for help, and counseling can be one meaningful way to care for our emotional, relational, and spiritual well-being.

Individual counseling offers a supportive space when life leaves you feeling overwhelmed, anxious, discouraged, or unsure of the next step. Together we might work through anxiety and stress, depression, grief and loss, life transitions, relationship concerns, personal growth, or questions of faith, moving toward greater clarity, hope, and a life that reflects your values.

Couples counseling begins with a simple truth: healthy relationships rarely happen by accident. Whether your relationship is facing a real challenge or simply needs renewed connection, we can work together on communication, conflict, rebuilding trust, and deepening your friendship and intimacy as you grow through life’s transitions side by side.

If you’d like to learn more or schedule an appointment, please email me at blake@paxrenewalcenter.com or call our office at 337-993-1960. I’d be glad to talk with you about whether counseling might be a good fit.

From Dan: Making Room for Your Marriage

A 2-Day Marriage Intensive with Dan 

A Little at a Time

Blake’s reflection on making room reminds me of something I see often in my work. Some marriages need more room than a weekly hour can give, especially when the same hurts keep resurfacing, and you can’t quite find your way back to each other. The Covenant Repair Intensive™ sets aside two quiet, focused days for just the two of you: time to slow down, understand what keeps pulling you apart, and begin preparing a new way forward together. If this sounds like the season you’re in, I’d be glad to talk. No pressure. Just a conversation.

Schedule your free 20-minute consultation

And as always, you can email me at dan@paxrenewalcenter.com. I read every message.

Clinician Spotlight

Blake Valdetero

For more than twenty years, Blake Valdetero, LPC, has been making room for people in some of life’s hardest seasons. She knows that healing rarely begins with a plan. It begins with presence: someone who listens with respect, curiosity, and genuine care. That is what Blake strives to offer each person she meets.

Blake works with couples, adults, and adolescents (ages 12 and up) navigating grief and loss, anxiety, depression, academic challenges, and the many transitions that shape a life. She also offers health coaching and weight management counseling, caring for the whole person- mind, body, and spirit. Having completed Level 2 training in the Gottman Method, she brings a collaborative, solution-focused approach that helps clients strengthen their relationships, build resilience, and move toward meaningful, lasting change.

Blake earned her Master of Arts in Counseling from Louisiana State University. As a wife and mother, she brings both professional expertise and real-life perspective to her work, and she lives what she wrote this week: our presence often speaks louder than our plans.

Contact us today to make an appointment with Blake! 

Blessings,

Dan and the Clinical Team at PAX Renewal Center