No person is perfect. But if you have an affair and would like to work on your marriage, it is important to prove to your spouse that you can be trusted again. Here is some advice on how to work both individually and with your partner to start the healing process.
Honesty and coming clean to your spouse is the first step in moving on. It can be incredibly damaging to the marriage if the unfaithful partner does not go into detail about their affair. Telling them includes all the little details: how long it lasted, what you told your affair partner about your spouse, how often you saw them. Doing this will eliminate secrets trickling out after your spouse has started to trust you again, limiting long-term damage.
Be an Open Book
It is important to answer every single question your spouse asks you about your affair, as painful as it might get. The average length of an affair lasts for two years, so it is normal for your partner to have many questions. Your spouse will need to feel secure in your relationship so be willing to show them any text messages, pictures, credit card bills, or social media posts they ask for.
Additionally, this period of openness may require you to share detailed information about your whereabouts at any time of day. While this increased accountability should not last forever, it will be a good stepping stone in gaining their trust back.
End Contact With Affair Partner
It should go without saying that you should end any contact you have including deleting all numbers, social media accounts, and emails. And, if your partner reaches out to you, you must be open with your spouse so as not to break the trust you have developed.
Get Tested for STDs
It can be an embarrassing, hurtful moment to find out you have contracted an STD. But for the safety and health of your partner, it is imperative to do so immediately after ending the affair.
Reconnect with your Spouse Daily
Your spouse is the one who has been hurt the most by this affair. So it is important to reconnect and have quality time together with no distractions daily. Doing this will help to rekindle the passion you have for each other.
Dealing with an affair does not mean you have to deal alone. Consider going to couples therapy. Couples who attended family and group therapy reported improved physical health and ability to function better, along with 97% reporting they got the help they needed to rebuild their marriage. Along with marriage counseling, you may need individual counseling that will help you work on your marriage at a more personal level.
The experienced professionals at Pax Renewal Center offer therapy services for people of all backgrounds.If you are looking to change your life for the better, call today.