7 Steps to Surviving Infidelity

surviving infidelity affair counselingYour marriage can survive an affair. If both you and your spouse are willing to put in the effort, attend couples counseling, and work together to rebuild trust, your marriage can become what it once was. Marriage therapy services will help you both reconnect and repair the damage, but only if both partners follow distinct steps in the healing process.

The betrayed spouse must agree to take healing seriously by not minimizing or trying to speed up the process, and the unfaithful spouse must provide all details open and honestly in order to prove their trustworthiness. Here are the necessary steps for both partners to complete in order to survive the affair.

The Unfaithful Spouse

1. Promise to stop the affair
It is crucial to agree to sever all contact with your lover, as this will lift the veil of secrecy and creates a sense of safety for the betrayed spouse.

2. Answer any and all questions
Your partner deserves to know whatever details of the affair they want to. The goal through couples counseling is to be able to talk about the affair without the betrayed party feeling undue pain, and the only way to get there is to speak open and honestly.

3. Take responsibility
Blaming your partner for the affair will not heal the marriage, but expressing sincere remorse and the desire to change will. You will need to apologize and take responsibility not only for your partner’s sake, but for your own healing.

The Betrayed Spouse

4. Ask questions
There is no such thing as too many questions in marriage therapy.

5. Set a time limit on speaking about the affair
Restrict speaking about your affair to about 15 minutes each session. If you always talk about it, you will not have time to heal.

6. Expect curveballs
When you both are being completely honest, things can come up that you don’t expect.

7. Forgive only when you are ready
Forgiveness takes time, so never feel pressured to completely forgive unless you are 100% ready.

According to research from the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, a full 98% of surveyed couples who underwent couples counseling reported that they received excellent help in repairing their marriage. In addition, over 97% of those surveyed said they got the help they needed.

Remember, your marriage can survive infidelity. Call the Pax Renewal Center to start repairing your marriage today.

October 28, 2017

1 responses on "7 Steps to Surviving Infidelity"

  1. Infidelity is unforgivable…. but for once pause and think “ what made her do that?”

    Figure out the root of the problem … there should be some serious underlying problem… either you aren’t giving her enough attention and care or you might not be good in bed …. it can be anything… the first step to solving this problem is by COMMUNICATING….. sit with her and talk to her… don’t do the mistake of blaming her and tagging her with words like whore, cheater etc…. if at all you wanna save your marriage, then don’t be rude to her… understand her and think from her perspective… talk to her with respect … and both of you analyse the matter… ask her what she wants … ask her why it happened… ask her what is it that she wants to do now?? Be with that person , or divorce you , or whatever she has decided…. but before you take any step… you should understand that mistakes can be committed by anyone… and everyone deserves a second chance…

    So as to save your marriage, it requires you to give her a second chance…. make her feel that what has happened can be forgiven and that you can both can lead a normal life like any other happy couple….

    Marriages are bound to have problems, it’s a choice that we make, if we want to cross the hurdles together or alone, by leaving our better half…

    Analysing the problem is what you can do right now and making sure that you do your part of being a good husband with love and dignity….

    if your wife continues to not change, you certainly should leave her and save yourself… but if it’s only once she has made the mistake then she deserves a second chance… more importantly, your marriage deserves a second chance …

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